There are people like me out there, people of such rank pessimism and cynicism that every pain is a heart attack, every mole is cancer, every phone call is bad news. We cower before any authority. We pity the forgotten dead, knowing that we will inevitably join their ranks. We spend our days counting the grey hairs and the wrinkles we have gained, doing nothing but worry about the world.
We are the worst life insurance salespeople, because our customers leave the meeting wanting to kill themselves--NOW--before the premium comes due.
We’re the people who go out and vote, so they HAVE to count our losing votes. Or is it so THEY have to count our losing votes.
For years, I’ve had doubts about the old cliche about the optimist believes the glass is half-full and the pessimist believes that it is half-empty. I think that the true pessimist believes at least one of the following:
1) The glass is probably being handed to us to collect our fingerprints, so we can be framed for some horrible crime.
2) The water is probably swimming with bacteria that weren’t removed at the water plant;
3) The water almost certainly contains lead or some other industrial poison;
4) The glass rim is chipped, and will cut your lip and the dangerous bacteria will enter your bloodstream immediately;
5) How do we know no one’s spit in the glass before giving it to us?
6) Do you really think it’s water in the glass? It could be vodka intentionally given to an alcoholic to kick off a binge from which they never recover, dying on a street in a snowy alley or a suicide in a cheap motel.
Sometimes we have to be grateful for the emptiness in the glass, and sometimes we have to be grateful that there is no glass.
It’s less worrisome.
The Half-Full Glass by Van Gogh. Isn't it gorgeous?
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Comments
I made fun of your fears. Drank my water, and yours. And died. A cautionary tale. (You were right. I hope you're happy now!)
NO!!!!!! Not Bellwether. Serves me right. Damned. If I had closed comments, would you be alive?
OK, you're officially more cynical than me. I admire that.
Wow. You are pessimistic.
Of course, you might also wonder if you're a person imagining a glass or a glass imagining that there's a person imagining you. I guess that would be existiantialpessimism.
Of course, you might also wonder if you're a person imagining a glass or a glass imagining that there's a person imagining you. I guess that would be existiantialpessimism.
I wouldnt be me if I wasn't pessimistic..:)
Fantastic!
Fantastic!
"Or is it so THEY have to count our losing votes."
Yes. Exactly. Serves them right!! ;D
Yes. Exactly. Serves them right!! ;D
How you got into my head, I'll never know. _r
Bravo! If you were a client of mine, I would advise you of the following:
1. You have the right not to drink the water
2. You have the right not to touch the glass
3. Any drinking or touching you do will be used against you in a court of law
4. You have the right to the assistance of counsel throughout the drinking and touching.
5. Awwww hell. Hope it's vodka and that you have a designated driver.
Loved this. I went back and read some of your previous posts. Insightful. Truly.
Peace
Sidny
1. You have the right not to drink the water
2. You have the right not to touch the glass
3. Any drinking or touching you do will be used against you in a court of law
4. You have the right to the assistance of counsel throughout the drinking and touching.
5. Awwww hell. Hope it's vodka and that you have a designated driver.
Loved this. I went back and read some of your previous posts. Insightful. Truly.
Peace
Sidny
Cranky. I am proud that I could outdo you at anything.
At Home--You are a Buddhist. The glass is an illusion.
Linda--you're sweet!
Tink--thanks for dropping by. You're always welcome.
Joan H--it's very crowded in your head. One of us might have to go.
Sidney--You're my type of lawyer!!! Hilarious comment.
At Home--You are a Buddhist. The glass is an illusion.
Linda--you're sweet!
Tink--thanks for dropping by. You're always welcome.
Joan H--it's very crowded in your head. One of us might have to go.
Sidney--You're my type of lawyer!!! Hilarious comment.
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